"Smile and...."
Day in and day out I’m not a smiler. I often have a bit of a dour face. Maybe more accurately, I have a blank face, I think it’s the result of my mind wandering around within its confines. I can stare straight through people I know. I’m not being difficult, it’s just that my eyes are focusing on the middle distance, as my head churns on.
This post is the result of a post: http://burnettiquette.blogspot.com/ I left a comment and got thinking about what James Burnett said.
I’m not an aggressive person. I don’t lash out at people even if I’m mad at them. I’m one of those stewing, simmering angry people.
That though, isn’t the point of the post. Have you ever noticed that when you make eye contact with strangers, be they the clerk at the convenience store, the person in the aisle at the grocery store, if you start to smile, not always, but often enough, they can’t help themselves, they start to smile? If you bloom into a smile they respond as if there is a chemical reaction?
Somewhat differently, holding a door open for the next person, and starting that smile gets the same reaction. “Thanks.” “No problem.” Smiles all around.
I don’t think my nascent theory will change the world, but it couldn’t hurt. I insist. Give it a try. Smile when you see strangers. Kind of makes you feel good and it can’t hurt them.
6 comments:
I'm smiling just reading this. What a gr outlook.eat
Yep, I'm a smiler and people smile back but wait, there's more! For 3 years I volunteered as a hot-line counselor at a suicide/crisis center in Dallas. In training we learned that people can "hear" a smile on the phone, and it's true...and yes, most of the time, a smile helps.
J
Smiles are contagious. I also think people give out an energy, be it negative or positive, and people pick up on it. I once looked intently at a male flight attendant as he went through the safety precautions, feeling I should give him the courtesy of paying attention. When it was over, he said "thank you for listening"
So people pick up on those little things!
As an inveterate smiler, I completely concur. Judi is absolutely right about smiling while you speak. It changes your voice. It makes it warmer. I promise, I'll smile when I read your blog.
I think that having a good poker face might be handy for a lawyer. Of course, if you smile more, people might wonder what you are up to. That could be handy as well!
I am usually a smiler. And yes, people usually smile back.
How come no guys are commenting on this post?
That said, I do think attitude can be contagious. Even when playing lawyer, with a little work I can take antagonism and turn it around sometimes. A favorite way is to nod and smile a bit and at the appropriate time say something like "yep, my guy is scum, absolutely no good. But until we get past that (it isn't for the most part true) we aren't going to settle this." Calms people down and they've vented. It works.
Voice, I think does matter on the phone or in person. Again the lawyer thing, but you can use your voice to bully and sometimes it's effective.
Jlee, I have a feeling you weren't so much energizing as well, being in the line of his sight.
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