Wednesday, March 07, 2007





I was using Google to get information about a Veterinarian and clicked on a website for a practice in South Carolina. Midway through a listing of services such as puppy kindergarten, I found "Ferret Medicine and Surgery." Note that there are actually two specialties here, medicine and the subcategory, surgery.

"The scientific name of the animal is: Mustela putorius furo; this is a member of the weasel family: polecats, minks, skunks, ermine, etc. The animal was domesticated before the cat, probably by the Egyptians. The animals were brought over [to the US] 300 years ago on ships. They are very skilled at killing rodents."

The guy in the small picture is a weasel and the guy in the big picture is a ferret, according to my Internet sources. They look awfully similar to me. Does the vet that specializes in ferrets refer sick weasels down the road to his weasel specializing colleague?

In the old Budweiser commercial, two iguanas, Louie and Frank, hired the ferret to kill the frogs in a pond. The ferret dropped the Budweiser sign into the pond, apparently electrocuting the frogs. But the frogs weren't in the pond, and one of the iguanas had the classic line, "never send a ferret to do a weasel's job." From extensive Internet research, quoted above, I know that the Budweiser ferret really is a weasel.

Did the ad writers know?

They obviously hadn't read the quote above or they'd have known the ferret was doomed to failure as it specialized in offing mice and rats (and later raising Louie's ire by being a chick magnet).

Again from the Internet: "[t]here are a wide variety of frog predators. Animals that eat frogs for snacks include snakes, lizards, birds, and various small animals like hedgehogs."

Whoa! Lizards? "An iguana lizard is a popular family reptile.... These creatures are not recommended to keep as pets, because they are not friendly and prefer to hide rather than being handled and petted. They are not attached to humans and are often aggressive. Adults grow up to 7 feet in length."

Two, as large as seven foot, lizards, mortal enemies of frogs, send a wimpy little ferret/weasel, who they should have known couldn't do in a couple of what, six or seven inch frogs? Send a weasel indeed!

This just goes to show you that the Vet in South Carolina is right - pick one thing, like ferret medicine and surgery (ok, two things) research them well (like I did) and do them well. Otherwise, you'll make all kinds of mistakes, create a series of totally unbelievable ads and be left with only one positive result - you've sold hundreds of millions of bottles of a fairly pedestrian beer making billions in the process.

4 comments:

Ryan said...

Dave, you could be absolutely brilliant, or just way too much time on your hands.

I would lean towards both of those after reading this post.

fermicat said...

I used to have two ferrets. They are a ton of fun, but smell kind of bad.

I also sort of had an iguana. It also smelled kind of bad. Technically, it was my ex-husband's pet, but somehow I ended up taking care of it. He had zero personality and hated humans, especially women. I'd say he was an absolute zero as a pet. Stick with mammals.

Hmmm. Was I talking about the iguana, or the ex? Could be either, the way I read it. ;)

Hedy said...

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.
- Homer Simpson

Anonymous said...

Again from the Internet: "[t]here are a wide variety of frog predators. Animals that eat frogs for snacks include snakes, lizards, birds, and various small animals like hedgehogs."

You know, I really didn't need to know this.