The Year (Almost) Without A Santa Claus

"Some gifts from Kris Kringle are better kept wrapped.

A man in a Santa hat was arrested Sunday night for investigation of drunken driving after he was spotted outside Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood wearing a wig, a red lace camisole and a purple G-string, police said.

'We are pretty sure this is not the Santa Claus,' Deputy Chief Ken Garner said.

The suspect was booked into jail after his blood-alcohol level measured just above the state's legal limit of .08, police said. He was later released on $5,000 bail.

The man, who is 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 280 pounds, also wore black leg warmers and black shoes. His car was towed to an impound yard, police said."

From the Associated Press. Update from RTW News Service:

Mrs. Claus is not responding to persistent calls and Emails from this reporter. An unnamed elf, not authorized to speak for North Pole authorities, said "he usually waits till the day after to pull something like this; we know that and plan for the fallout. That's why it never makes the news. This year, I don't know. Stress I guess. Replacing all those Chinese toys. How were we supposed to know, Mattel didn't. We had some high level talks with the LA police and they agreed to put out the story that it wasn't 'THE' Santa Claus. He's OK. We've checked, the sleigh is empty. Rudolf says it was a push, but he guided the way and the other reindeer were a big help. I just got back from the gingerbread house. Mrs. C is beside herself. She keeps muttering about never going to Key West again. This is all on background right? Hey, where you going?"