Lament For Laurie
That's not her name.
I was surfing blogs a week or so ago and came across her blog. She's fifteen. She's 5' 1" and weighs about 120 lbs. Here's some excerpts from posts:
Her boyfriend took her to Ruby Tuesday for dinner:
"That's where I screwed up, and it wans't anyones fault but mine. I could have had salad, but instead I chose the Louisiana Fried Shrimp. I ate 10-11 of the shrimp (which was of course, fried), I did eat all the broccoli that came with it (steamed) and I didn't touch the bread. I had probably a little less than a quarter of the mashed potatoes, and I drank plenty of water, but I feel sick and fat and I swear my arteries are clogging as I speak."
A postscript to another post:
"Threw up, think I got up about a cup, but it was a lot of liquid, took off 100 calories."
Another post:
"Wanna know what the scale said?12 FREAKING 3.3 pounds!I swear, I have to be dehydrated, and full of crap. Subtracting exercise I only ate as many calories yesterday as I did Friday!Now I'm a freaking BLIMP.The water is going up, the diet soda is going up (diet soda keeps me fuller than water), and the calories are going DOWN. WAY down. 'Cause today I'm not having a bite! MAYBE by tomorrow I'll be 120 again."
And finally,
"I couldn't tell anyone. My official weight could never go lower than 110. When I get to 110 though, and I will, because I've done it before and moreso, how much harder could it be to just lose 7 more pounds and score a new lw. Or just 11 more pounds. It works so well. I never go to the doctors for any reason, so no one else would have to know. And I'm sure by 20 or so when I might really need to, I'll have gained a couple pounds. Metabolism is a- well, yes. I don't really WANT to weigh less than 94, don't want to be a total skeleton, but I have a high percentage of bodyfat and I could stand to lose a few more pounds than some people. Then at the same time, I don't want to lose what muscle mass I have (I know I lost a lot last time I got to my lw, but that's because I NEVER did anything but aerobic exercise)."
So there it is, a case study of anorexia. I'm a little depressed by this.
5 comments:
That is disturbing in a lot of ways. Aside from the distorted self image, her myopic focus on herself seems to make up her entire existance. Lament, indeed.
F*ck! This makes me sad.
I'm a frog in my 40's, and I've never found the skinny giraffes that pass for our 'ideal' of femininity attractive. What the f*ck is wrong with advertisers, designers, anybody that would impress the need to starve themselves on a generation (multiple generations) of women?
(Yeah, I know that a lot of the problem is peer pressure, but the impetus for that is the media ultimately.)
There are many things I will never understand. I added anorexia to that list a long time ago.
I agree with kvatch. I know it's simplistic to say "I blame advertising," but to a large degree I think that's true. Advertising has created a culture that values style over substance, and Laurie is the latest casualty.
Hard for me to read... Because I see or hear about this sort of thing nearly every day. Bullemia... Anorexia... I hate it... It's the media, it's celebreties, it's other girls & women... It's the girl or woman herself as well.. It's a combination of so many things... You see someone like this firsthand, in the flesh, you almost can't take it.
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