Adopted By Asians

To wrap up the Biloxi trip, Bill, one of the guys that went down for the weekend, introduced me to Pai Gow poker Sunday afternoon. He described it as blackjack/poker for dummies, saying he'd played it years ago before starting to play blackjack. He was right and wrong.

We played for about an hour Sunday afternoon, me playing the beginner stripped down version of the game with Bill's oversight. The dealer deals all of the cards from the deck, including jokers to the six stations of the table that looks like a blackjack table and seven cards to him/herself. The object is to make up the best five card and two card poker hand. The joker can serve as an ace or any card in a straight or flush. If the player's hands are both better than the dealer's hand, you win the amount you bet. If you split the hands with the dealer, it's a push and your bet remains on the table. The dealer takes your bet if both of your hands are beaten by the dealer.

Then there's the "bonus" circle at each station. You can put a chip in it, a dollar up to the table maximum. If you do, and if your hand includes certain hands on a list like straights and flushes, you get a bonus. There's more to the rules, but that's the basics. Bill described this as a sucker bet, and he was probably right from a statistical point of view, but wrong from the Asian viewpoint.

As we played that first hour, and I learned, my goal was not to appear as stupid as I was. Stupid things I had to overcome: do not hold cards except over the table, do not let cards touch your body: cheating preventers. All cards can be face up, but only in order of play. Bill was to my left, he could not look at my cards until he had made up his hands and placed them face down on the table. This takes away any advantage you might gain by seeing the cards on the table before playing your cards. This rule was largely ignored.

Sitting to my right was a Chinese lady of indeterminate age. She took about ten seconds to arrange her hands and then would scold me. It was a bit unnerving as I was still at the stage of learning protocol. But, she had my best interests at heart as my stern taskmaster. "You no do that, this right." As she gestured quickly at my cards, me having no idea what she meant at first. "No pair together you no have ace or face." Thus I learned the next level of hand arrangement. If you don't have an ace or face card to put in your two card hand and do have two pair to put in the five card hand, you split the pair between hands to give you your best chance of winning both. If you have aces or face cards, you don't split other pairs. (Rereading this paragraph, don't get the idea that I'm being disrespectful to the lady by the way I'm structuring her comments. She spoke as I have quoted her. Her English was heavily accented, adding to the difficulty of understanding her. She was a smart lady, just impatient with me.)

Between Bill and the lady, and getting some pretty good cards, I won a hundred dollars in an hour which is very unusual.

After dinner (fried shrimp and fried catfish, Biloxi is the land of fried fish), I wandered back to the Pai Gow table on my own now.I was a bit better at the mechanics, but had added the handicap of now being not fully sober. And of course Bill and my Chinese lady were elsewhere.

I learned that you could show the dealer your cards and be told what the "House Way" of playing them was. When in doubt I showed them and got instruction. As this was going on an older gentlemen sat on my left. He didn't speak (or at least wasn't speaking) English. When I looked at my cards he would too (remember you aren't allowed to do this) and nod and smile if I did it right. If it was wrong, he'd shake his head no. I'd rearrange until I got a smile.

He left after awhile and a couple sat down. It turned out they were Vietnamese, though they spoke English fluently, living down the coast in Mobile. The wife became my new tutor. I learned some new aspects of the game. The dealer explained that I really should take the sucker "bonus" bet because that was "the only way to make any money." As he explained, everyone at the table nodded yes. Being analytic, my head said no; but, I couldn't say no to my new friends. I made the right decision, as I now learned the true nature of Pai Gow. There is a community of players with the goal of beating the House.

Part of the strategy of beating the House is using the bonus game. So, I joined the team, putting down my dollar chip in the circle, to be regularly scooped up by the dealer when I didn't win a bonus. Overtime, I won a few small bonuses, a couple of bucks. Over the course of the night, playing the bonus probably cost me twenty bucks, but gave me entry into the group.

At a point when I'd won a few bonuses, the husband half of the Vietnamese couple held up a five dollar chip to me and asked if he could support me. Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about. As it turns out, he was wanting to ride my current bonus luck. It is against the rules for him to make a bet on my outcome; but, he can support my luck by giving me a chip which I place in the circle for him. If I win the bonus, he gets the payoff on his portion of the bet.

I didn't fully understand this at first, but who was I to decline his support. "Sure, throw it in there." "No, you have to put it on the table." So I did, putting his $5 chip on my $1 chip. "No, it must go below your chip, it's support." So I rearranged them. As best I can tell there was no rules basis for the positioning, it was just symbolic.

For whatever reason, the support worked. I went on a mini-roll of bonus wins. During this period, a young Vietnamese woman sat down next to me. She noticed my luck and asked if she could support me. I of course accepted. The table was now a full team. I spent the next too many hours having a great time, winning a bit then losing it back with my new friends.

Two more things to end this ridiculously long post (I must be channeling Jeni).

Pai Gow, in English is roughly translated as garbage, junk, s**t. It refers to the worst hand which is seven off suit, non-sequential cards. The worst would have a nine as the high card. As the dealer reveals his/her hand, players seeing a lousy hand are happy and say, sometimes yell, pai gow.

Finally, I went out with a flourish. It was very late and the only players left were me and the Vietnamese girl. I decided to up my bets. I took everything except the hundred I started with and a $10 chip to leave as a tip and split it between the main bet and the bonus circle. I pulled a seven card straight, less one card, having ten or fifteen dollars bet on the bonus. The dealer dealt herself a straight flush, beating me on the main bet. One of her cards would have filled my bonus straight. The Vietnamese girl was livid, mad at the dealer for beating me on the main hand and depriving me on my bonus straight which would have paid me $750 (and her another $750 for her support). Of course, the dealer has nothing to do with what is dealt, the cards are spit out of an automatic shoe. Didn't keep the girl from what I took as swearing in Vietnamese.

We left with her muttering under her breath.

Other than lack of sleep, a great evening.