Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I think there's a better way to eulogize

I’ve not read anything about the death of Senator Kennedy, for some reason, I’ve not wanted to. I hadn’t planned on listening to what’s being said; but, I forgot and turned the TV to one of the local NPR affiliates. They are talking about him.

Here’s my proposal. If we know someone is going to die, shouldn’t we tell them formally what we think about them. Not the private family stuff, I’m sure the Kennedys did that for him along with his close friends.

His death got me thinking about my friend Big Tony, not that that his death was expected. But had it been, I’d have much rather had our wake while he was around to enjoy it,though he would not have.

Maybe here’s what I’m saying. If you know someone that’s going to die soon, do the personal stuff; but, also do the formal stuff so that they and the family and friends know what you think of them.

Maybe this is more a movie plot than a good idea.


Jeni said...

When a very close friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer 22 years ago and after surgeries, chemo, radiation -the whole nine yards -it became obvious there was not going to be a cure for him, I wanted so much to talk to him -at least one more time, ya know -but just had a terribly difficult time in trying to figure out a way to do that without it looking to him like I was there to say "good bye." I did eventually find a way to stop and see him, to talk about things that were important to him, to me, but more importantly than just doing a "goodbye" type of visit I think is to let people know all the time how important they have been in our lives, how much their presence here has meant etc. That way, we don't really have to worry about their not knowing the mark they left with us.

ThomasLB said...

I think the best thing to say- not just to the terminally ill, but to everyone you love- is: "My life is better because you are in it."

I lost someone close to me several years ago, and there were things I left unsaid. I'm not going to make that mistake again. It's hard sometimes to verbalize affection, but I'd rather have a few uncomfortable moments telling someone how much they mean to me than a lifetime of regret because I did not.

Dave said...

Glad to have you commenting again Thomas.