The Bailout, Day Two (not counting the weekend)
The bailout continues to make people say what the fuck; and, those in the financial markets are saying WHAT THE FUCK!, while selling off their holdings. The Dow is down 508 points and about 5%.
President Bush on Fox News: “People are just not lending.” Damn them all. What’s up with all those foreigners that lent us into this? “Give me more! Please! Please?” Don’t cut me off. Methadone isn’t working!”
A United States District Judge ordered the Government to produce 17 Chinese Muslims in his courtroom. Someone tell him the Constitution isn’t important, didn’t he get the memo? The Government reacted by saying it would immediately appeal; and, that perhaps (wink, wink) the immigration officials would detain the men at the border.
If you have a baby in the house, buy a fan, put the baby on his or her back and remove the stuff from the crib.
AIG, a couple of days after the Government bought 80% of it, spent a couple of hundred thousand dollars on an executive retreat in California. Great PR guys.
People in Chicago aren’t sure just who they’re pissed at.
A “remastered” version of Risky Business made the front page of NYTimes.com.
Wal-Mart announced that applications for greeters were up 4000% (this one isn’t true).
3 comments:
People in Chicago aren’t sure just who they’re pissed at."
Huh?
Speaking as a person in Chicago... I'd say... almost everyone. About a lot of things.
But isn't that true everywhere?
The reference to Chicago was a failed attempt to refer to the loss by both teams in the playoffs.
Oh.
The Cub fans think the global financial meltdown is small potatoes compared to the Cub collapse vs. the Dodgers -- Cub fans are calling the local sports talk shows declaring that they are herewith abandoning any further loyalty to their team -- someone set up a monument outside of Wrigley like they do when someone is killed in the street -- you know, teddy bears, balloons, flowers (there was at least one note reading, "Thanks for nothing). Another guy is trying to sell his allegiance to the Cubs on eBay. The radio hosts laugh knowingly: They'll be back in the Spring.
Sox fans, like me, are disappointed. But I would dare say that many, even most, of us think the global financial meltdown is a bigger deal.
But I still stand by my original statement. These days, isn't everyone cranked off at just about everyone about all sorts of things?
Post a Comment