The Damn Bed, Subtitle: I'm Stupid
This one isn’t IKEA’s fault. If you’re new here, do a word search for IKEA to get the necessary background.
So, I went to Lowe’s and got 1x4’s cut to the right width to serve as slats for the mattress. As they say, I measured twice so as to cut once. Twice isn’t enough. The wood was cut to 60.5”. It needed to be a hair shorter.
So last night as I discovered my error, I quit for the night and Emailed a friend to borrow a light weight power saw to “shave” the end so the wood would fit the frame.
I ate some dinner and watched some TV and repaired to the couch to sleep, as the frame with the wood filled the bedroom.
Sometime during the night I woke up and walked toward the bathroom, forgetting that there was a stack of wood in my path.
My right big toe is broken in two places.
I went to an “urgent care” place. They asked me to fill out various forms that asked questions like “do you have a religious affiliation?,” “if faced with a life or death situation, do you have a trust, living will, etc.”, the questions, not related to medical matters went on. The office manager and a physician’s assistant finally decided I could be treated without an invasion of my privacy.
So, the same PA looked at my toe and said, “looks broken, let’s get an X-Ray and see what’s there” The technician was a bit put out when I examined the film with her and diagnosed the two breaks. The PA confirmed my diagnosis, prescribed some pain pills and a Velcro attached hard soled sandal that I get to wear for the next three weeks so the toe doesn’t move when I walk.
I’ve got the pain pills inside me as I type, they are working already (I really don’t like drugs, but these are making me feel a lot better). The CVS doesn’t carry the shoe, so I have to drive to Decatur tomorrow to buy the shoe.
I got the power saw from my friend. I’m thinking I should give a pass to shaving the wood tonight, I’m feeling a bit too mellow.
The price of my bed has now exceeded $400 bucks in IKEA, Lowes, medical and drug costs. We’ll see what happens next.
4 comments:
Poor guy! At least the trial's over and you have a few days to rest up.
Ummm, did you make it to the restroom or did you just pee right there?
Yeah, like I'm the only one wondering this.
You have my sympathy.
When I was ten I stepped on a broken bottle in my bare feet and almost severed my big toe. I was in a splint and sandals for quite a while.
Of course, when you're ten you think stuff like that is pretty cool.
What happened to you isn't funny, really it isn't but then, if it isn't funny, why am I chuckling over your current dilemma? Probably because I can picture you in my mind's eye, through all of the things you mentioned -including of course, the initial clumsiness that caused the broken toes! But too, I can relate because oh, about 20 years back, I fell asleep in a chair in the living room, with my right leg/foot tucked under my butt and was awakened by the phone ringing. My body woke up -all but my foot which stayed asleep until I stepped down on it and it sort of "doubled down" a tad and I broke a bone in the upper part of my foot! I was such a lovely sight with a cast on my leg up to my knee (a "walking cast" they called it) for the next six weeks. During which time, my son was confirmed at church and I HAD to attend the services in a little more of a "dressed up" attire -including shoes with a high heel and nylons. Be glad you don't have to wear pantyhose, Dave and try to get them on with only one leg of 'em in use. Puts dressing into a whole new concept.
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