Wednesday, September 23, 2009

When is the magical moment? And Why?

I went to Kroger today to shop. A mistake on a Wednesday as the Kroger is in Toco Hills, the epicenter of geriatric upper middle class people in Atlanta, and today is the 5% off for Seniors day.

Wednesday at Kroger, you move slowly, everyone moves slowly. Many people stop moving slowly and stop – in the middle of an aisle, intensely discussing the merits of the house or national brand of something, whether they have or don’t have something at home, or often, saying and looking at nothing. I always think about the people I see in front of me, stopped and then veering one way or another in the aisle (they never just go straight from their position) and the fact that most of them drove to the store – is their driving any different? I’m always very careful driving in the area.

But that’s not the point of the post. For years now there’s been a caricature of the elderly guy with his high belt line, just below the sternum and knee high black or white socks with shorts (black is much worse than white). So, the guys I saw today with this look, years ago were in their late thirties, forties, or maybe their early fifties. They didn’t dress this way then. When was it that they made the sartorial shift? And why?

I know you shrink as you grow old. Did they shrink enough that the socks that used to reach just below their calves now reach their knees and the beltlines of their pants now cover their bellys?

More likely there’s something else that causes old guys to go this way; but, I’ll be damned if I know what it is. A favor: if it happens to me, just shoot me – I’ll give you a note that confirms that you killed me at my request, I’ll make a DVD that explains why I need killing.

A future shoot me offense post: the comb over.


Posol'stvo the Medved said...

The grovery store nearest my house must be the closest to a bunch of retirement communities as well. It's a small store -- a community store -- not the superstore down the road. And it always takes me four times as long to get anything there as at the superstores. Because of all the morons walking slow and stupid in my way.

Dave, I'll not shoot you for the combover. I'll just shave your head while you sleep.

Sonja's Mom said...

There wives have probably been dressing them in the past and are now either dead, lost their eyesight or just don't give a dam anymore.

Anonymous said...

I could better understand it if they were dressing for comfort- but they don't look comfortable, either.

dr sardonicus said...

Part of it is that you don't shrink so much as the belly expands. Part of it is what Sonja's Mom said. But something definitely happens when it finally sinks in that the cute young cashier who you fantasize about thinks you're old enough to be her grandpa.

Jeni said...

First off -good to know (in case I ever leave here and move to the Atlanta area) that a grocery store there also gives the "Wednesday 5 percent senior discount" too. I wouldn't want to loose even that little bit of a savings ya know.
And on shrinkage in old age -hmmm. Got a time table as to when this is supposed to begin? Seems all I am doing these days -as I age -is grow but in the wrong direction according to my age maybe?

Dave said...

Pos, you don't have to, I'm a short time away from buzzing what's left. The only thing holding me back is I hate the look.

SM and Doc, it worries me that these guys don't have their contemporary or cute young thing women paying any attention to them. I've always got along great with girls until they reach the age where they are listening to what I say, then they quit listening.

Thomas, you're right, especially the sternum thing.

Jeni, I'm getting older; but, I'm not shrinking in any dimension I care about.